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Don’t Wait Until You Are Confident: The Story We Tell Ourselves To Avoid Fear

Don’t Wait Until You Are Confident: The Story We Tell Ourselves To Avoid Fear


“I’m going to wait until I am confident and then I’ll do…” 

Ever catch yourself saying the above when thinking about venturing into new territory? Maybe it is that heels or pole dance class you would love to try, a business idea you would like to roll out or perhaps simply getting back into the gym. 

Whatever your desire, are you waiting until you feel confident before taking the leap? 

Today I was walking with a friend and I asked if she will be joining my next pole dance workshop, to which she replied “I have to get confident first”. My initial response was “so how are you going to do that” and bless her, my friend had no clue, had never thought about it, as this was her default response, the story she told herself and the excuse which stopped at me. 

For many, there is a lot of time wasted by attempting to avoid the initial feelings of fear, awkwardness, failure, worry, embarrassment that come with doing things outside of their comfort zone. Take a moment to think about it, what is something you would love to do and how long have you been battling the idea of taking the next step until you feel confident? Yet, it is a challenge to feel confident with something you’ve never done or are new to, creating a catch 22.

I know the battle well, because I too have tried to avoid those feelings however, I also recognise that my confidence in any particular activity will come once I face my fears, give myself permission to be a beginner, get comfortable with being uncomfortable and take action. It gets easier, I promise. 

So how can I support you to move forward today? 


A belief, at its core is what we feel certain is true, a thought which we think over and over again as well as something which can be transformed to serve us in a more powerful way. As a society, we generally frown upon failure and mistakes, most believe failure to meet a desired result is simply bad and they make themselves wrong for it, in the process. Do you ever feel this way? 

What if we chose to do what most people won’t and create a new belief around what failure is as well as focus on a new message. How would this change your experiences? How would you approach new situations, activities or tasks, if you believed;

  • “it’s OK to make mistakes and get things wrong because this is how I learn” 
  • “It will be awkward before it is elegant, I give myself permission to be messy while I learn”
  •  “I am a beginner and there is a learning curve I cannot escape, my confidence will develop alongside my experience” 
  • “I can feel fear and still take action!”
  • “Failing will simply teach me what not to do, to get the result I desire”
  • “It is safe to face my fears of trying something new” 

The above statements provide a certain level of freedom. Freedom to try and be messy in the process. Freedom from judgement of self and into acceptance. What if instead of judging yourself for not being on your A game in something you have absolutely no experience, you celebrated yourself for daring to try a new activity and sticking with it, as uncomfortable as you felt at times? 

Oh the freedom which comes with changing the way we perceive a situation, is priceless.

So what action step will you take today to move forward? I would love to hear in the comments, or send me an email and let me know how you are moving forward –

Have a fierce and fabulous week 



P.s. How can I go deeper on this subject? 

If you want to develop the self confidence to be yourself unapologetically, so that you can create a life of pleasure, passion and personal freedom, schedule a ‘Freedom To Be You’ introductory session today. We will identify what holds you back from being, doing and having all which you desire and together create the best course of action. 

The world is waiting for you to become all of who you were called to be, don’t let us wait any longer, it is your time



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